Category: text post

posts in which the main focus is the text rather than the image

Art Supply No Buy: I’m throwing in the towel!

~ Ari October ~ 1 Comment

Do I regret attempting to go an entire 365 day year without buying any new art supplies? Absolutely not! Is it time for me to admit defeat however? Ultimately, yes.

This isn’t to say that I’m now going to go on a wild shopping spree and buy every single thing that has tempted me over the course of this year! I intend to continue on with a Low Buy for the foreseeable future. I want to buy new supplies on a “need” basis, rather than just because I’m itching to try something new. There’s no need for me to buy, for example, chalk pastels if I haven’t already come up with a project in my head that would benefit from having that particular supply.

Earlier this month I decided I wanted to make my 1 year old a low hanging gallery wall in our shared bedroom with simple artworks for her to admire. The biggest problem with this though, is that we had run out of nontoxic art supplies! The crayons we had bought for her to use were constantly going in her mouth, so we would dispose of them as she’d break them to prevent a choking accident. I needed her to be able to touch the art, even rip it off the wall and chew on it if she so desired. Nontoxic supplies are an absolute must for a project such as this.

And for a while I had been wanting some cheap water-based markers for coloring pages and quick washes of color in my sketchbooks. I love my alcohol markers but they always ghost and sometimes bleed through pages. They are also inherently more expensive, even though we use the inexpensive Ohuhu brand, so I am a bit precious with them. Using them for coloring pages feels wasteful somehow, even when it’s my own lineart I am coloring!

So I caved, and I bought a 50 count set of Creatology water-based markers. (NOT sponsored.) I have to say, I am extremely satisfied with this purchase, and I find they were worth breaking my No Buy over. And with this purchase, I was able to do what I set out to do, and created a cute gallery wall for my daughter’s viewing pleasure!

At first I felt a lot of guilt about this purchase, despite buying them for a good reason at such a low cost. As I investigated these feelings I started to wonder who I was even doing the No Buy for! I have concluded that my circumstances have changed since the time I decided to do a No Buy in the first place, and I have already grown significantly as an artist through this challenge. Finishing up 5 abandoned sketchbooks in 10 months is no small feat after all! This challenge also helped me realize I really do thrive while working on just one main sketchbook at a time!

Something else that necessitates changing up some of my tools is that I’ve realized I’m leaving my mandala period. It slowly snuck up on me and I never saw it coming, but creating mandala art no longer brings the same kind of joy it once did. For some naive reason I thought I’d be specializing in mandala forever… Now I question why I ever expected that. I’m certain I will still create mandalas on occasion, especially digitally for coloring pages, but they’re just not my main thing anymore and I have recently come to accept that. Now I am missing the giant set of Ohuhus I bought and donated out of buyer’s remorse… when I was specializing in mandala it felt unnecessary, but they would definitely suit the work I am making now so much better. Oh well, live and learn.

So while I might be unceremoniously ending my No Buy early, I promise it’s with the best of intentions. I have zero regrets about taking on this No Buy, and zero regrets about ending it earlier than planned! I have learned so much and I intend to carry those lessons with me through the rest of my life.

I will see you all again in the next few days as we welcome in November and celebrate the ending of Inktober! Until then, take care, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

This is the 10th sketchbook I’ve filled from cover to cover!

~ Ari October ~ 6 Comments

And the largest at that! It taught me that I prefer to work smaller, so it may continue to hold that record for a long time…

Strathmore Sketch:
400 series, recycled paper, 11×14 inch, 60lb.
Painted the cover with the only Poscas I had at the time, not a color palette I’d typically go for!
The liquid chrome Molotow accents on this piece really make it pop IRL!
This piece just feels balanced to me and I really like the color I used. I remember I really enjoyed making it!
The solid gold petals were actually because of a marker explosion! Happy accidents and all that, right? At first I was afraid it was ruined but now I like it even better.
This was a value study I did with a mechanical pencil. Not the best tool for the job, and I knew that. I learned a lot and ended up really happy with the results! My reference was a photo of my dear friend’s dog, Kimber.
This is actually a pretty small doodle, don’t be fooled by the image scaling! I just wanted to practice drawing hummingbirds and using alcohol markers, and ended up loving the results. Too cute!

For the longest time I could not for the life of me fill an entire sketchbook. It took me until 2019, at age 23, to completely fill a sketchbook for the first time. I still remember that chilly November morning, how I sat in our car in a gravely parking lot, doodling while I waited for my partner. I yelled from the elation when I realized I had finally done it. That was a day I checked a major milestone off my bucket list, I remember it with the same kind of clarity as the day I first held my daughter.

Now in the nearly-3-years since that time, I have somehow managed to fill another 9 sketchbooks, 5 of which I finished up this year because of my Art Supply No Buy and my newly found dedication to no longer abandoning sketchbooks partway through. I can see myself finishing up another one or two before the end of this year if I keep up this pace!

Allowing myself to see sketchbooks as a private place to practice, make a mess, and have fun has really helped me overcome the “precious sketchbook syndrome.” The gorgeous sketchbook tours filled with finished pieces on YouTube are cool and all, but not knowing that those artists probably keep a messy thumbnailing sketchbook on the side really held me back for the longest time. It’s awesome to make good art in your sketchbook, and you should always feel proud when you do, but your sketchbook should be a safe place to make bad art. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times more: without bad art, there would be no good art. So make bad art, and lots of it!

This sketchbook is actually primarily filled with bad art. It was hard to pick out what to feature here because so much of it is not really spotlight worthy in my eyes. That’s actually part of why it’s become so sentimental to me though, she served me well through countless trials and errors. It’s also the first sketchbook of mine I’ve allowed my 1-year-old to flip through and scribble in wherever she pleased, and that couldn’t have happened if I cared more about the art inside! Now it is an irreplaceable treasure filled to the brim with memories.

Inktober is finally nearing it’s end. Once it’s done I will be writing a summary post and showcasing my favorite pieces. I look forward to sharing that with you all! Take care until next time, I will see you again soon!

Jeltober!

~ Ari October ~ 1 Comment

Disappointment came over me when I previewed the 2022 Inktober prompt list, I just didn’t feel inspired by this year’s prompts. I’ve decided to do JelArts’ alternative prompt list instead! This will be my 3rd time attempting any sort of October daily drawing challenge.

Life is very busy for me currently so I’m going to be very lenient and forgiving towards myself this year. In both of my previous attempts I ended up quitting pretty early on, and that was before I became a mother, so I know what to expect out of myself. Giving up is an option, I’ll just be happy to say I tried.

The goal will not be to produce a finished illustration every day. I will feel satisfied if I get even a tiny doodle or messy sketch down. At least then I can potentially go back and finish it later. My goal will simply be to follow a prompt list for the duration of the month, regardless of the results.

Will you be doing Inktober this year, or any of its alternatives? I did a mandala theme last year, do you have any themes you’d like to incorporate into your Inktober? Let’s chat, I’d love to hear from you!

I am wishing you all health and safety, as well as a wonderful rest of your day!

Art Supply No Buy: Autumn check-in (baby scribbles edition!)

~ Ari October ~ Leave a comment

I have to admit that I actually bought some art supplies recently, although they are not meant for me! That being said, I haven’t been able to resist using them a bit. I’m fairly certain you all will forgive me considering the circumstances!

My 11 month old daughter recently discovered the joy of scribbling when she got hold of a ballpoint pen. So despite wanting to hold out till the end of the No Buy to introduce her to drawing, we caved and bought her a few art supplies. She tends to hit milestones early, I shouldn’t have been surprised!

“First Scribbles” Ballpoint pen on wall, collaboration between my daughter and partner, September 19th 2022. Frame by me, gold acrylic paint pen.

It turns out we might not have needed to buy any art supplies though, as she has figured out the Boogie Board and primarily uses that for her scribbles! Oh well, what’s done is done. She really loves the erase button, she often scribbles just to press it and see it disappear!

More lovely artwork by my daughter!

We bought her a very cheap pad of paper and a set of 8 larger washable crayons, all for about $5. She mostly bites the crayons and tears the paper, but she’s enjoying the new toys so that’s what matters. I can’t resist a good crayon, so I doodled a sweet Australian pup in my daughter’s sketchbook…

Unironically my favorite TV show.

We also found a dinged up magnetic drawing board at the thrift store, admittedly we have gotten far more use out of it than she has! It’s gotten my partner drawing a lot more, so I’m really happy about that. I may still upgrade to a less broken one next year.

Fun and adorable doodles by my partner,
Jasper Rae.

So while this may be considered a “slip up” in terms of my No Buy, I’m perfectly content with that. No regrets here, only happy memories made! Thanks to this No Buy the purchases were made with intention, so that still feels like a win for me.

I have been feeling a lot more tempted lately, and I’ve occasionally found myself looking forward to the end of this experiment. Overall though I feel an abundance of gratitude towards this No Buy, I feel like I have been extremely productive this year and learned a ton of valuable lessons.

That’s it for now, I have another post very close to ready though, so I’ll see you again soon! Take care, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Spring in Autumn?!

~ Ari October ~ Leave a comment
“Lilacs” mandala coloring page
WIP collage!

My mom was born on the cusp of autumn, but her favorite season is undoubtedly summer. Her favorite flower, the lilac, blooms in May and June.

I typically stick to the current season when theming mandalas like this, but I made this coloring page as a birthday gift to her. If you’ve ever had the chance to smell one you may understand why they are her favorite!

This took so much time and energy to create. This is actually my second attempt as the first one did not turn out the way I wanted! I poured hours into the first one too, It was very difficult to allow myself to start over, but I’m really glad I did.

I’m so grateful I did this one digitally, it was hard enough without having to draw the exact same thing 4 more times! That’s not to say I wouldn’t… It would certainly take me a lot longer though!

I actually had to buy a sketchbook!

~ Ari October ~ Leave a comment

If you’ve read the post about my new sketchbook system you may recall me mentioning one of my “travel” category sketchbooks being bigger than I’d like. Recently I came to realize that it’s too big to fit in my cargo pants or fanny pack! I had two options: move that sketchbook to the “medium to large white paper” category, or let it go. Using a bigger bag wasn’t an option for me, due to my disabilities I need to carry as little weight as possible, and I have a tendency to fill all the space in any bag I use!

A few weeks ago I met my friend’s 4 year old daughter and we had a blast drawing together, and since I’d learned she didn’t have a sketchbook of her own, yesterday I decided to ask her mom if it was okay to give that sketchbook to her. They were both thrilled by the present!

With that taken care of, I was left without any excess travel sketchbooks in the overflow cabinet! My No Buy rules allow for replacements and refills as necessary, so I was allowed to buy one. I knew I wanted one of the exact size I’ve been using since it fits perfectly in both my cargo pants and my fanny pack, but isn’t ridiculously small either!

In order to not torture or tempt myself I actually sent my partner into the craft store for me! With her help we picked out a recycled paper sketchbook by Artist Loft. (Not sponsored!!) They were out of the exact sketchbook I had been using, but this one has the same page count, weight, is the same width and is only .5″ longer. I am excited about trying recycled paper- I think the little speckles in the pages might help me fight against the fear of the blank page!

(Image from the Michael’s website)

Well that’s all for now. I’ll make a sketchbook highlights post when I finish up this current travel sketchbook, which will be soon! I’ll see you then, take care in the meantime!

90 days free from the hardest addiction I’ve ever battled.

~ Ari October ~ 4 Comments

Content warning: self-injury; mentions of child abuse and substance use.

To commemorate the occasion, I made myself a little laminated keytag, which is being displayed on my fanny pack.

I’ve battled many addictions, from shopping and hoarding to drugs and alcohol, all just different symptoms of the same disorder. But the first and hardest addiction to quit has been self-injury.

When I was 12 I started cutting myself. Even before that though, I don’t even remember when exactly it started, I began hitting myself. Because my father beat me, I learned to beat myself when I was angry. Now it’s been a few years since I last cut myself, but it’s only been 90 days since the last time I hit myself.

I am truly amazed that I was able to get this far. I am being completely honest when I say this has been more difficult than kicking drugs. My fists are always attached to my body, I have to go out and buy drugs to use them.

Unfortunately I could relapse at a moment’s notice, but I won’t dwell on that fact. If I relapse I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep going. Just because my clean time counter resets doesn’t mean all that work suddenly just disappears, these 90 days will ALWAYS count for something. Nothing will ever take away the fact that for these last 3 months I have not cut, hit, scratched, or bit myself.

I truly believe that if I could do this, you can break any bad habit too. Sometimes it’s a matter of gritting your teeth and sitting on your hands, but it’s well worth the effort.

Thank you for reading, please be kind to yourself, and I’ll see you in the next post!

My sketchbook system: 4 is the magic number!

~ Ari October ~ 6 Comments

(If you take a sip of water every time I use the word “sketchbook” in this post, you should be quite hydrated by the time you’re done reading!)

Like many artists, I have suffered from constantly craving a shiny new sketchbook. I would often buy a new one before finishing the one I was working in, leaving the old one to collect dust. This is why one of my New Year’s Resolutions for 2022 was to finish filling 3 of those partially-filled sketchbooks, and at the beginning of July I was able to achieve that goal! Yesterday I went above and beyond, completing a fourth!

Through my Art Supply No Buy I have come to accept that I am not a “sketchbook monogamist” and that variety of materials is important to me. Tidiness and a minimalistic lifestyle are also important to me though, so I have come up with a system: I may have 4 sketchbooks active at any one time, but they each have their own use. These four categories of sketchbook are as follows:

  • One medium to large, white paper, dry or mixed media sketchbook.
  • One medium to large, black paper, mixed media sketchbook.
  • One watercolor paper sketchbook, of any size or color.
  • One pocket size sketchbook, of any media or color.

These categories allow me to have just enough variety for all the mediums and sizes I want to work with, while also giving me a hard limit on sketchbooks to prevent over-purchasing. When I run out of sketchbooks in one category at that point I may purchase one new one for the same category. So for example: if I fill up my black paper sketchbook I may buy a new black paper sketchbook, but not a new sketchbook of any other category… No matter how tempting the options may be!

My No Buy rules allow for replacements and refills when necessary. Because of this, depending on just how much I create this year, I could possibly find myself purchasing a new sketchbook before the year is over. Black paper is the category I am most likely to actually go all the way through, because I only have one small pad of black paper in surplus besides the sketchbook I am currently working in. We will just have to see what happens, but that could be quite exciting!

I decided to take an inventory of all the sketchbooks I have left that are waiting to be filled:

  • 2 in the medium to large white paper category, the larger one is about half-full and the other is completely empty.
  • 2 in the black mixed media category, one is about half-full and the other is a pad of removable paper I have only used one sheet from.
  • 2 in the travel size category, although they are a bit bigger than I’d prefer. In the future sketchbooks of this size will be in the medium to large category, I just don’t want to buy anything right now so they will stay put. The smaller one is about half-full, the other is completely empty.
  • 1 in the watercolor category, with a few pages full. You would think I might find myself needing another before the end of the year, but with a crazy almost-9-month-old it is hard to find time to watercolor.

Between filling up 4 sketchbooks and donating a few others, I have dropped my surplus numbers into the single digits! This is very exciting for me. I now see a number of sketchbooks I could imagine myself filling in the next 12 months, maybe even less, especially if I keep drawing as often as I have been lately.

I have to attribute a lot of this success to my change in lifestyle choices. I have not been playing video games for 42 days now, and over the last several years I have been working on cutting down on my internet consumption and overall screen time. Forcing oneself to allow for a healthy dose of boredom works wonders for increasing creativity and productivity, at least in my personal experience! Now I find drawing to be fun, a time for play and exploration, when previously it mostly felt like work and a chore compared to the instant gratification of the digital world.

Obviously technology still serves me, as I am currently writing this blog post on my smart phone. It has just become more of a tool than an entertainment device! I am currently very satisfied with my relationship to my tech and my art. It’s such a pleasure to be able to deliver such news!

It’s nice to get another post out again so soon, last night’s achievement has given me some momentum! My next post may take a while longer, but I will see you all there when it’s done. Stay safe and healthy!

New Year’s Resolution: Complete!

~ Ari October ~ 1 Comment

(My tiny travel sketchbook started falling apart! A whole clump of pages fell out, which was very disappointing. So I decided to fill up the remaining 16 sheets as quickly as possible, which took 2 days. I had 3 more exactly like it, but unfortunately I will be donating them since they do not suit my needs. I hope they will serve their new owners well, they are very cute but they just aren’t durable enough for me.)

Included in my list of intentions for 2022 was a goal to finish up 3 of my partially filled sketchbooks, and near midnight of June 30th 2022 I accomplished exactly that!

My partner actually made it possible to finish before July, because she took on the job of filling the last 4 pages in my tiny travel sketchbook, much to my relief! I had been worried an hour and a half left in the day wouldn’t be enough time, as I am a chronic over-thinker! I set the deadline of midnight for myself because I heard it helps to set deadlines, especially if you’re prone to procrastinating. She really saved the day, I was feeling exhausted from the long day we had, and I’d already filled so many pages in such a short time!

My sketchbooks aren’t only for me, I love to invite others to draw in them and leave their mark. I cherish the drawings provided by others, they are the most special to me, far more important to me than anything I draw. I’m aware many artists may find me crazy for this, as for them their sketchbook is a sacred place for only them. I’m just not like that though, I enjoy art-making so much more when it’s with friends. My sketchbooks are like journals for me, which is why I also write in them and paste things in, they are books filled with memories. In my eyes, the doodle of a friend is a treasure.

I am so relieved to have, with plenty of help from my lovely partner, succeeded at finishing up 3 sketchbooks in a year. While it’s not quite as impressive as filling 3 brand-new sketchbooks from front to back in a year, I couldn’t be happier to have less clutter in my art cabinet! In the future I need to be diligent about not buying new sketchbooks if I don’t have a genuine need for one. I could write a whole post about my sketchbook categories and how I plan to handle purchasing new sketchbooks in the future, and I probably will honestly.

I would love to finish up even more sketchbooks this year, but either way this marks 7 sketchbooks filled, I am very satisfied with my progress! It took me twenty-something years to finally fill even just one, when I was younger I never would have imagined I’d actually fill seven entire books filled with intimidating blank paper.

That’s it for now, just wanted to share the celebration with you all! Have a wonderful day and I will see you in the next post!

Confusion of Love

~ Ari October ~ Leave a comment

I made this piece in February of 2009, when I was in the 7th grade and questioning my sexuality for the first time. By the time I created this I knew for certain I liked girls, but couldn’t decide if I also liked boys. That struggle continues to this day.

In a previous post I had labeled myself as pansexual, but that was a very recent decision. I had concluded I would probably love and stay with my partner regardless of how she identifies, therefore being attracted to her regardless of gender. However, today I decided to change the wording of that post and revert back to the Nonbinary Lesbian lable I have been so comfortable with for the past 5+ years.

Although it may sound contradictory to someone unfamiliar with the terms, yes I do identify as both Nonbinary and a Lesbian. This is because our language lacks words that would better describe how I feel. Sex, as in one’s body parts and chromosomes, is not a factor in who I am attracted to. Gender on the other hand, a personal identity and social performance, does for some reason. I am attracted to people that, for lack of better words, have “feminine energy”. This isn’t to say I am not attracted to masculine women though, and I’m not sure how to explain better what I mean by it.

I am also “woman-aligned”. My relationship to gender is so tumultuous I can no longer return to the label and identity of “cisgender woman”, but when forced to “pick a side” between man and woman I always choose woman. This unfortunately happens quite often, an example is when filling out forms that only have two options for gender and there is no way to write anything else. When I can discuss my gender more at length as I am doing here, I am able to convey that I reject the binary and don’t want to be forced into a box. I also continue to struggle with gender dysphoria that once had me identifying as a trans man for a few years, but I no longer feel comfortable identifying as and behaving as a man.

I’m not only attracted to women, but also to fellow nonbinary people. If more people understood that “bisexual” doesn’t just mean “attracted to both binary genders” but often means “two or more genders” perhaps I would use that instead. Unfortunately in our current world many people do not know that, and therefore lesbian is the best word I have to convey my sexuality in simple terms.

If you would like to read more on the topic of nonbinary lesbianism, I found an article that I would highly recommend to anyone wanting to understand the lable better. I am aware that it can be very confusing to people both in and outside of the LGBT+ community, but I urge you to approach the subject with sympathy and compassion, we are all just people trying to navigate this very complicated world.

At the end of the day it really doesn’t matter what my sexuality is, because as I’ve said before I am happily partnered (hopefully for life) to my favorite (also nonbinary!) lady in the entire world. I continue to question the labels I use for the sake of understanding myself better, as well as being understood better by others, not because I need other women to know I might find them attractive. Anyway, at this point in my life I think I would choose solitude over another relationship if the one I am in happens to end for any reason.

My relationship to sexuality and gender has always influenced my creations, as all other aspects of my identity and life experience do. So today I publish this very old artwork on this blog to pay homage to the very long journey I’ve had questioning my labels, and to thank my younger self for making this piece that I still resonate with so deeply.

Thank you for reading this and for keeping any unkind thoughts to yourself (wink!), I hope you have a wonderful day and I will see you in the next post!